GET USED TO IT

1. slow boat ‘all together’ pt. 1: spoken words by: charles bukowski (readings of ‘i believe in evil’ & ‘trouble’ from ‘hostage’)
   
   
2. friend: incognito in love. sincere, god send. you’ll stick by us till the bitter end my good old friend. a shoulder to cry on; a hand there to help. no where to be found; as sure as hell. my good old friend stay the fuck away. my good old friend. love incognito can’t even tell it’s there. like finding god just have faith that it’s there. my good old friend stay the fuck away.
   
   
3. loser: oh my god, you’ve done it again. you’ve gone and made a fool of yourself. jesus fucking christ, do we really have to? do we really have to? i’ll win, i’ll win this one. like the one before it. like all the other. so don’t hold your breath. you’ll pass out before i hear another word of it. let’s go out back and settle this like men. and, i’ll show you what i’ve been hiding in my fist. to your face. and, my fist again to your face again. “oh dear lord please stop he’s had enough”. “good god man your going to kill him”.  i’ll win, i’ll win this one. like the one before it. like all the other. and, the ones next to it and all the rest. just get used to it. get used to it
   
   
4. though we know our days are numbered we still still count out loud like a choir of fumbling bells: these days pass in different ways; pass like by chance. this dance, graceful happenstance, runs straight to me. this lack of luster; lay me down to sleep. awake, repeat. the sound so sweet of 10 men side by side firing off in remembrance of thee. keep running, keep these dreams. these hopes i find run straight into me.
   
   
5. monster: bored and getting old. scared of getting cold. push pull; to and fro. careful of the ghosts bellow. it’s under my skin; your under my skin. fuck it it’s all gone to shit. it’s useless and relentless. we know not what we do. who’s the monster? wild wolves bear their teeth for their growls bear no relief. all consuming consumer. this is what you’ve become; this is what you are. get over it. i’m over it. we’re the monster, i’m the monster, you’re the monster, we’re the monsters. get over it.
   
   
6. so so, ever so: so so, our sights are getting clearer. ever so, the lights getting nearer. so so, to be so lone. these hands are restless; those hands hold too many secrets. so so, too alone. ever so, to be so lone. in the chimes and in the breeze she lingers all over me. in these eyes and what they see; your remittence eludes to me. so so, as dark as the eyes can see. ever so you can’t see me. try to be what it is to be thee. through these lies that we perceive. either/or: interlaced in me. in her steps i do believe, till the day i day there’s no relief. so so, our sights are getting clearer. ever so, the lights getting much nearer. so so, to be so lone. it’s never to soon to be taken home.
   
   
7. out the bag: i dreamt the other day that we were free without a care or a single memory of what our childhood did. how it fucked us up, and how we can’t remember to breath without this cigarette. it must have been a dream because i’m the same and so are you. i can’t seem to remember what i said or did because i got fucked up on these memories and i can’t seem to forget. might have well have been a dream of what i could have been. or at least what my father has always wanted me to be. can’t be a letdown without a son’s regret. in a lazy day dream i quit my job with out a care of what bills i’d have to pay before now and when next months rents due and how i could afford what i never meant. i awoke from a dream where mom was still around and i let her know how fucked it had been that i never got a chance to save her from herself to say goodbye. life’s just a drag from a cheap old cigarette; it’s never enough. it all seems like a dream or maybe more like a life long nightmare.
   
   
8. how damned am thee: so numb, so dumb. so why don’t you come along with me. so numb to the some of the sins that i’ve down, owe is me. oh my god, owe is me. jesus christ how damned am thee.
   
   spoken words from the film “anotherstateofmind”.
   
   
9. god’s been asleep since the 60’s: almighty with all your majesty: our pain is real so where art thee? a just hand and a firm decree. show compassion on thee who are: mild and meak, who are widowed and bleak. let forth your kindness, less not your wrath. we’ve seen enough of that. these days with wars and meantions of wars we’ll keep locked door. with men in power taking it to far who will dress these soars? who will cover these wounds? these ones will not, no should not heal. what shall we do? as we cry out to you. what shall we do? if your real, if you can hear me, oh please god, oh dear lord, do something.